Amazing

I hate that I do this. I bide my time. I sit here. Literally. TV blaring in the background, mongrel laying on his bed beside me, ratty old vintage quilt on my lap. That's it. I could be painting my bookshelf. I could be doing a new zine. I could be putting my mountain(s) of clean laundry away. I could be taking new photographs. I could be embroidering. I could be painting or drawing, or reading a book. I could bake pumpkin muffins. I could sew some things. I could bleach my hair. But nope, I just sit here. I wish that I was the best at something. I think I do a pretty good job at all of the above mentioned things (that is, when I actually have the gumption to DO any of those things), but then I see someone else that's done it better. It's discouraging. I'm OK at many things, but not amazing at anything in particular. It must be nice to be amazing at something. I guess I'm amazing at doing nothing, though. Does that count? Because I can do nothing better than anyone else...