There is this ache going on with me lately that I can't quite figure out. I wouldn't go so far as calling it an emptiness, but there is certainly something missing. It's as though I have this deep, intense yearning and I can sorta picture what it is I want, but I can't quite get my finger on it exactly. Even tonight as I was about to do some work, I was searching my mind for some music to listen to. I had a good idea of what I wanted to hear, but couldn't place who the music was. I kept thinking that I wanted something "orchestral and beautiful," but nothing specific came to mind. I just needed to hear something important. Something that made me connect to it. Something that gave me an emotional response. That resonated with me. And I've been having the exact same sensation when it comes to watching tv lately, too. I can't find anything to watch that makes me feel anything. Nothing is satisfying and I can't figure out how to fix it. I think the truth of the matter is that everything is dull now that you're gone. The luster of even the simple everyday things have lost their shine. I'm missing you. There have been a couple of times that I almost called you, but I thought better of it, even though I really, really wanted to hear your voice. You are the magic that always makes me light up and feel alive, and now you're no longer here. I feel... weird. Out of sorts. Discombobulated. You are my ghost limb that I still think is there, even when it isn't. I miss the essence of you. Not parts of you, not what you represented in my life, but just... everything that is you.
Êtes-vous endoloris pour moi aussi? Suis-je perdu votre branche?
